Employer should give longer holidays to employee to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the contemporary world, life is too busy to hold on to the things that actually matter. People can not even find the time to relish the beauty and sweetness of their relationships and nature.

Therefore

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, it is often advised by many that there should be extended vacations in jobs so individuals can feel refreshed

however

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, some feel

otherwise

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. I strongly agree with the statement that longer holidays will provide the means of fuelling up the energy needed to accomplish better goals.

Firstly

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, with the passage of time, skilled workers are spiking in numbers, so there is increased competition in the job market and professionals now have to work much harder to keep their positions.

Thus

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, they are already working more than their capacity and most of the season they are knackered.

This

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could affect the thinking process of employees and can lead to destroying the capabilities they already have.

Therefore

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, when they are allowed to relax completely by offering them long vacations, they regain the energy that organisations need to carry on.

Secondly

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, when the employees are working around the clock, they can not properly focus on

different

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

other things that are necessary. It includes their families, important pieces of work other than jobs and

further

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education on skills improvement.

For instance

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, a lot of professionals like to take international trips during holidays to attend a seminar or workshops related to their profession.

Although

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they are taking their off-season, it will definitely help the company in the long run as their worker is improving an essential component for the betterment of the organisation.

To conclude

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, I will say that there are a few chances that

this

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step may lead to laziness and sluggish behaviour by some of the people in the team but

overall

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it would serve a bigger purpose for the employer

as well as

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create a bond of respect between the boss and the team. They will take it as a lovely gesture and token of appreciation and will try harder to prove themselves in the future.

Submitted by Maj on Tue Aug 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and summaries of the main points.

task response

The essay responds to the prompt by arguing in favor of longer holidays for employees. However, the ideas could be more effectively organized and developed, with stronger connections between the paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Employer should give longer holidays to employee to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Across the world, local shops are closing due to losing customers to online competitors. What problems does this produce? And what solutions can you suggest to overcome them?

Nowadyas, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or governent? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?