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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the percentage of Internet users in Canada, Mexico and the USA from 1999 to 2009.

The line graph shows the percentage of Internet users in Canada, Mexico and the USA from 1999 to 2009.
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The line graph shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of foreign
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 who came to England for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three different goals from 1989 to 2009. Generally, the
Correct quantifier usage
number of travelers
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 to the UK for
holliday
Correct your spelling
holiday
holidays
, business and visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
friends
Use synonyms
 or
realtives
Correct your spelling
relatives
 constantly rose from 1989 to 2009. More specifically, the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 to England for
holliday
Correct your spelling
holiday
 rocketed to nearly 10
million
Use synonyms
 from 1989 to 1999. After five years, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 decreased
dramaticlly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 by over 2
million
Use synonyms
. In 2009, a significant
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 of 9
million
Use synonyms
 was witnessed in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
traveler
Change to a plural noun
travelers
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 to
friends
Use synonyms
 or relatives was a huge drop of 4
million
Use synonyms
 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors in 1993. From 1993 to 2004, the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 to the UK for business and visit to
friends
Use synonyms
 or relatives rose slightly to over 6
million
Use synonyms
 but visit to
friends
Use synonyms
 or relatives keep increased to 8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2008 and after one year the trend reduced to 7
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitor. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 for business saw a significant
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 of over 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, friends, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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