The line graph shows the percentage of Internet users in Canada, Mexico and the USA from 1999 to 2009.

The line graph shows the percentage of Internet users in Canada, Mexico and the USA from

1999 to 2009.
The line graph shows the
number
of foreign
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
who came to England for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three different goals from 1989 to 2009. Generally, the
Correct quantifier usage
number of travelers
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
to the UK for
holliday
Correct your spelling
holiday
holidays
, business and visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
friends
or
realtives
Correct your spelling
relatives
constantly rose from 1989 to 2009. More specifically, the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
to England for
holliday
Correct your spelling
holiday
rocketed to nearly 10
million
from 1989 to 1999. After five years, the
number
of
visistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
decreased
dramaticlly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
by over 2
million
. In 2009, a significant
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
of 9
million
was witnessed in the
number
of
traveler
Change to a plural noun
travelers
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
to
friends
or relatives was a huge drop of 4
million
in the
number
of visitors in 1993. From 1993 to 2004, the
number
of visitors
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
to the UK for business and visit to
friends
or relatives rose slightly to over 6
million
but visit to
friends
or relatives keep increased to 8
million
in 2008 and after one year the trend reduced to 7
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitor. Meanwhile, the
number
of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
for business saw a significant
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
of over 6
million
in 2009.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, friends, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!