IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
Use synonyms
 to own
cars
Use synonyms
. It can be shown as social status and achievement in life.
However
Linking Words
, over thirty years many cities become crowded with
people
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 that own
cars
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. it becomes one big traffic jam. In fact, I agree with the statement and will examine the measures that
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government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can take to discourage
people
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 from using
cars
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.
To begin
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 with, the
government
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 can increase the
fuel
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 price for private
cars
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. By increasing the
fuel
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 price, citizens can not buy
fuel
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 easily.
Moreover
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, they will think twice
to use
Change preposition
about using
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 their
cars
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.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 leads them to choose public transportation. For illustration, workers can use public transportation in order to decrease the
expanse
Correct your spelling
expense
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 of transportation
such
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 as buses and taxis.
As a result
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, air pollution can decrease. The next solution is to make the age limit for
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 want to own a car. In
this
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 modern era, it is easier
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
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 to buy a car.
However
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, it increases the number of
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 own
cars
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 drastically.
This
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 trend can make the traffic problem bigger. By giving the age limitation, the
government
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 can control the growth of
people
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 having
cars
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.
For instance
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, parents can not easily buy their children aged under 17
cars
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 as a gift.
Consequently
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, the purchase of the car can be controlled.
To sum up
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, an increasing number of
Use synonyms
cars owner
Fix the agreement mistake
car owners
show examples
 bring negative impacts
such
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 as traffic jams. In order to solve the problem, the
government
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 needs to take action. The
government
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 needs to increase the price of
fuel
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 and put an age limitation for
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 want to own
cars
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Increase the clarity and organization of your introduction and conclusion. Make sure to present a clear and comprehensive response to the question, using relevant and specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay to enhance coherence. Develop stronger connections between your ideas, and ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
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