New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Automated factories have brought a new revolution to manufacture products in massive quantities that can hardly
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
show examples
by manpower.
Nonetheless
, some argue that
such
technology reduces available positions for workers. In my viewpoint, automation not only improves productivity but
also
reduces costs,
as a result
, I personally believe that the merits outweigh the demerits. In
this
essay, I will elucidate in more detail and offer my own opinions. On one hand, using new equipment to replace humankind indeed causes detrimental effects on employees and possibly cuts relative positions.
However
, regarding the increasing cost of salaries, many companies have adopted
this
solution.
As a result
, more and more items are made at lower prices and eventually benefit consumers worldwide. In the meantime, any new ideas can be implemented with less expensive costs, in terms of encouraging new commodities to be invented or designed.
On the other hand
,
this
method enables mass production and higher quality. First of all, machines have higher operational speed and they can run on the whole day, in turn, productive efficiency is considerably elevated.
Moreover
, controlled by computers and artificial intelligence, the entire line can be controlled more precisely and any possible defects are detected.
Therefore
, both quantities and qualities are well enhanced. In conclusion,
although
there are some drawbacks associated with unemployment, individuals could lose their jobs
due to
this
trend.
Nevertheless
, there are various pros
such
as
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
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expenses, mass manufacture and quality management. In
this
way, people can enjoy low-cost goods and live more easily.
Consequently
,
due to
the reasons listed above, the positive aspects overshadow the negative ones.
Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on

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task response
The essay provides a somewhat clear and relevant response to the task, but it lacks a strong focus on fully addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is unclear at times, leading to some difficulties in following the progression of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph is well-connected and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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