Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.
-Unlike in the past, people, irrespective of their gender, tend to splurge on
beauty
products
. This
essay shall discuss the reasons for this
epidemic and what could be the feasible consequences of it.
In the past few years, the use of cosmetic products
has proliferated dramatically. One of the prominent reasons is that people are more inclined towards maintaining social status in society. To elaborate, with the advent of advertisements of beauty
lines, youngsters have developed oniomania in them. People, nowadays, have started believing that beauty
products
have become an essential part to maintain
their lifestyle. Many of the industries are following the same trend, Change preposition
of maintaining
such
as aviation and hotel lines, hiring teams in these industries go by the looks of their employees and neglect their skills. To illustrate, the receptionist of a 5-star hotel is more likely to be hired, based on her looks rather than her accomplishments.
Many of us are imitating our favorite
celebrities on social media. Little do we know about the plastic surgeries they have undergone. For these reasons, natural Change the spelling
favourite
beauty
has lost its charm and makeup is the new fashion statement among youths. Further
, beauty
care, if used in abundance, can have negative effects on the human body as it has a lot of chemicals in it. These chemicals can have adverse effects on the skin. For instance
, a recent survey has been conducted by "The Toronto Times", wherein it has been proven that due to
excessive use of beauty
products
and surgeries, skin cancer has been detected among 4% of youngsters.
To conclude
, with the increase in advertisements for beauty
products
, youngsters have started compulsive shopping which has led to deterioration in their skin and health. Hence
, it has
important to encourage the limited usage of cosmetics among youths.Verb problem
is
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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt, including the reasons for increased spending on beauty care and the potential results. While a clear viewpoint is presented, more focus on discussing the potential results would strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more cohesive. Consider using more transition words and phrases to ensure smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, including some less common lexical items. However, there is occasional repetition, and some vocabulary choices could be refined for clarity and precision.
Grammatical Range
The essay showcases a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of tenses and verb forms. However, be mindful of sentence structure complexity and eliminate minor errors to enhance fluency and coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.