Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behaviour #results

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-Unlike in the past, people, irrespective of their gender, tend to splurge on

beauty

products

This

essay shall discuss the reasons for

this

epidemic and what could be the feasible consequences of it. In the past few years, the use of cosmetic

products

has proliferated dramatically. One of the prominent reasons is that people are more inclined towards maintaining social status in society. To elaborate, with the advent of advertisements of

beauty

lines, youngsters have developed oniomania in them. People, nowadays, have started believing that

beauty

products

have become an essential part

to maintain

Change preposition

of maintaining

show examples

their lifestyle. Many of the industries are following the same trend,

such

as aviation and hotel lines, hiring teams in these industries go by the looks of their employees and neglect their skills. To illustrate, the receptionist of a 5-star hotel is more likely to be hired, based on her looks rather than her accomplishments. Many of us are imitating our

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

celebrities on social media. Little do we know about the plastic surgeries they have undergone. For these reasons, natural

beauty

has lost its charm and makeup is the new fashion statement among youths.

Further

beauty

care, if used in abundance, can have negative effects on the human body as it has a lot of chemicals in it. These chemicals can have adverse effects on the skin.

For instance

, a recent survey has been conducted by "The Toronto Times", wherein it has been proven that

due to

excessive use of

beauty

products

and surgeries, skin cancer has been detected among 4% of youngsters.

To conclude

, with the increase in advertisements for

beauty

products

, youngsters have started compulsive shopping which has led to deterioration in their skin and health.

Hence

, it

has

Verb problem

show examples

important to encourage the limited usage of cosmetics among youths.

Submitted by mangathm on Wed Aug 09 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt, including the reasons for increased spending on beauty care and the potential results. While a clear viewpoint is presented, more focus on discussing the potential results would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more cohesive. Consider using more transition words and phrases to ensure smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, including some less common lexical items. However, there is occasional repetition, and some vocabulary choices could be refined for clarity and precision.

Grammatical Range

The essay showcases a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of tenses and verb forms. However, be mindful of sentence structure complexity and eliminate minor errors to enhance fluency and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Fully explain your ideas

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people work long hour, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?