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Writing Samples
Band 5

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#pace #life #people #food #meals
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In
this
 contemporary era, most people are leaning towards ready-made
food
.
Although
 fast
food
 is a good option for people working full time and is a better option than starving. In my opinion,
this
 has more drawbacks. Fast
food
 makes our life easy and one doesn't have to think about buying raw materials and turning that into a meal.
Firstly
, buying fast
food
 is convenient and cheap. With more and more demand, famous chains are opening more locations and providing ready-to-go meals at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
Moreover
, fast
food
 companies give taste to their
food
 by adding enhancers and flavours because of the demand in the public. Despite the fact,
fast
Correct word choice
that fast
show examples
food
 meals are convenient they affect
health
 as it is loaded with sugar and salt which is the main cause of obesity. It is seen in Western countries
for example
 in America where people who consume more fast
food
 are suffering from obesity and heart conditions.
Apart from
this
,
food
 is poor in nutrition and has no fibre and other nutrients which are required by the body.
Therefore
, the public takes extra vitamins and minerals to compensate for the effect of fast
food
 which is not a healthy option described by many studies. It is believed that in the Western ,world those communities who rely on fast foodstuff have more
health
 problems compared to communities who cook
food
 at home.
To conclude
, fast
food
 has more adverse effects on
health
 and relying on
this
 is not healthy in the long term. It has a significant effect on
health
 which leads to many diseases which can be avoided easily.
Submitted by richajoshi111 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion on the topic. However, the response lacks thorough analysis and fails to explore both advantages and disadvantages in detail.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion. There is a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and complexity, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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