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Writing Samples
Band 5

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#children #languages #schools #force
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The issue which many children come across the disability to learn other
languages
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, and some believe that because of
this
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 problem, students should not be forced by their schools to study these foreign
languages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is what I completely disagree with in many diverse aspects. In today's world, where many believe that we are living in a "global village," knowing any terminology other than your maternal one can be a blessing.
This
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 is
while
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 numerous students all over the earth experience a lack of potential to earn
this
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 skill.
This
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 can be a cause of effects made by technological devices in their everyday life which may make them think they don't need to know a lot. Take the translation applications as an example. Children would think they can use these apps to communicate with the world as they wish in any situation and
this
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 is actually a great excuse to get rid of all the hard journey of learning a completely new accent. In
this
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 case, some people think that there should not be an educational must for a child in
this
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 particular topic.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion, First of all, the action of just relying on the programs and letting go of a kid being dependent on electronic devices in the way of connecting with the outer world of his mother language is totally damage to his future life in different areas.
As it
Correct word choice
It
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 is now
well-proved
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proven
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 that achieving new accent skills can improve human creativity and
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also
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apply
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the level of intelligence on an extensive scale.
Secondly
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, the process which someone should take solely through learning a brand new vocabulary can be really frustrating, especially if it is started at an older age. In fact, research has shown that people who start
this
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 process at an early age are more successful in it.
Also
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, the environment is another essential aspect, boosting
this
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 achievement. By considering these facts, it is obvious that it is a positive ability for children to get familiar with other
languages
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 and spaces
such
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 as school can be one of the best places for them to learn. On the whole,
while
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 it is believed that schools pushing students to learn new
languages
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 should be stopped, I think there are many reasons to disagree with
this
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 statement.
Submitted by sagarhasanzade on

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task response
Make sure to address the prompt directly and provide a clear stance at the beginning of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure, and there are issues with coherence and cohesion that affect the overall clarity of the response.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary used is quite limited, and there are instances of imprecise or inappropriate word choices.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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