IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#proportions #pupils #four #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table gives information on how many
students
 were studying in four different secondary
schools
 in the
year
 2000- 2009. It can be clearly seen that the voluntary-controlled
schools
 recorded the highest numbers for student attendance in the first
year
,
while
 these numbers significantly decreased in the
last
 two years.
In contrast
, the
rate
 of student attendance in community
schools
 was lowest in the first
year
 but it raised to the pic
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the third
year
.
According to
 the table, the
rate
 of
students
 in the community
schools
 was the least amount
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12% in the
year
 2000,
while
this
rate
 in the
last
year
 2009 significantly increased and reached the pic.
In contrast
, the
rate
 of pupils in the voluntary-controlled
schools
 was more than half a percentage in the
year
 2000
while
last
year
 decreased significantly to 20% in the
year
 2009.
On the other hand
, the percentage of
students
 in grammar
schools
 decreased by half in the
year
 2009 compared to the
year
 2000. Basically,
students
rate
 in the specialist
schools
 were not changed significantly in the given years.
Submitted by bashdar.hussen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, last, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, schools, year, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 4 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: