IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part time job while you are studying. So you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans Explain why you want to get a part time job

#country #study #part #time #job #friend #lives #help #plans
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Dear John I am writing
this
 letter in regard to seeking your help in finding a part-time job in Kent.
As
Correct word choice
apply
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I am
joining
Verb problem
taking
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 a diploma course in cyber security from
kent university
Correct your spelling
Kent University
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 for six months. which will start in July 2023. It is a full-time time course on cybersecurity.the classes will be held daily from Monday to Saturday from 9.00am to 2.00 pm.
Therefore
, I planning to take a part-time job. it will fund my daily expenses and help me in
brushing
Verb problem
improving
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 my English language
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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. As you
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 living in the UK for the
last
 three years you can guide me in searching part-time through your friend circle . The part-time job will give me an opportunity to know
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
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 culture . It will definitely help me in understanding
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
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 work practices in offices. my ideal part-time will be as a waiter, and computer operator. I look forward to hearing from you All the best Martin
Submitted by yash334 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your letter by organizing your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate, but consider adding more formal language and addressing the friend by their full name.
task achievement
Your response to the task is mostly complete, but consider adding more details about the specific type of part-time job you are looking for and how it relates to your career goals in cybersecurity.
grammatical range
Ensure a more consistent and accurate use of verb tenses and sentence structures for greater grammatical range.
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