IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

#detail #proportion #australian #school #graduates #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or pursuing
further
 education, in 1980, 1990, and 2000.
Overall
, from 1980 to 2000, the proportion of Australian students who were employed grew,
while
 there was a decline in both the proportion of those pursuing higher levels of education and those who were unemployed. In 1980, half of the Australian secondary school leavers chose to continue their education. After a 10-year period,
this
 number dropped to only 38% and remained almost unchanged in 2000. Meanwhile, the figures for those who were
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 were the smallest, at only 10% in 1980, 12% in 1990, and
finally
 dropping back down to 8% in 2000.
On the other hand
, over the years Australia saw an increase in the percentage of students who received a job after graduation from secondary school, from 40% in 1980 to 55% in 2000, which was the largest figure among all examined categories.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: