IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people inly ate local produced food. what extend does the advantage outweigh disadvantage?

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe there are many benefits in our environment and economy to consuming
local production
Replace the word
locally produced
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food
Use synonyms
 items
instead
Linking Words
 of being transported from other states or imported from foreign countries. I think, only eating locally produced
food
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has
Verb problem
is
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 more advantageous The main advantage of the intake of local
food
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 is that the economic level of village
people
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 will increase because these citizens depend more and more on agriculture and agriculture-related
food
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 production
such
Linking Words
 as fruits, vegetables, milk and milk
products
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.So
people
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 can involved in
such
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 type of business and
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
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 more money.
Due to
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 that not only every individual but
also
Linking Words
 rural become developed.
For example
Linking Words
, Sri Lanka is a developing country
which
Correct your spelling
with
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 7% of GDP growth dependent on agricultural
products
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 and exporting materials related to agricultural goods
such
Linking Words
 as rubber, Tea, cocoa and pepper.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the price of agricultural goods and related
products
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 are comparatively lower than the transported
products
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 because
food
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 cost depends on manufacturing, storage and transport. If
people
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 stay on local foods no need for transport expenditure and
also
Linking Words
 storage cost is reduced.
And
Correct word choice
Also
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also
Linking Words
 more benefits are citizens can consume chemical-free fruits and vegetables. If goods want to
store
Wrong verb form
be stored
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 for more days have to use preservatives
consequently
Linking Words
 leading to a number of health problems
such
Linking Words
 as allergies, cancer and indigestion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only eating rural foods has some drawbacks. One of the disadvantages is that
due to
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 the lack of knowledge, technology and weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 are not suitable for all varieties of
food
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 production. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, strawberry farming needs a very cool climate and greenhouse conditions if the temperature slightly increases may lead to disaster on the farm.
Hence
Linking Words
 only available for limited fruits and vegetables lead to nutrient deficiency.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe, the intake of local items is more beneficial because improves the lifestyle and health even though access to limited
food
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 and related
products
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide a clearer and more concise introduction that directly presents your stance and key points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid overuse of complex sentences that can obscure meaning; simplicity can be more effective for clarity.
Task Achievement
The essay presents relevant examples, like the economic impact on Sri Lanka, to support the main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • locally sourced
  • sustainable farming
  • food miles
  • supply chain
  • economic resilience
  • nutritional value
  • cultural diversity
  • food security
  • seasonality
  • imported goods
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • fresh produce
  • agricultural diversity
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