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Band 4.5

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #it’s #idea #work #colleagues #evenings #weekends #life
Nowadays, spending
time
 with co-workers is discussed actively. Some want
hanging
Change the verb form
to hang
show examples
 out with
colleagues
 outside of working
time
 and some do not agree with
this
 statement. In my
opinion
, I definitely believe that our free
time
 should be protected from working
life
. In the following, I will explain both views and my
view
 in more depth.
Firstly
, in the
view
 of socializing with
colleagues
 after working
time
,
this
opinion
 suggests using free
time
 for improving their working
skills
 effectively. Spending
time
 with co-workers is the easiest way to be good at their
work
 because they would hang out or talk about the field of their
job
. As you can see, making someone's situation surrounded by their working contents clearly shows that they would get higher quality
job
skills
.
Secondly
, the
people
 who want to spend their
time
 without working
life
, acclaim that if
people
 want to develop their
job
skills
, they need to take a rest from their
work
.
This
 will make
people
 more creative because break
time
 makes
people
refreshing
Replace the word
refresher
show examples
 from their
work
. Sometimes,
people
 need to get apart from their primary issues to handle that objectively.
Along
with
Correct pronoun usage
thiswith
show examples
,
this
 is
also
 effective in our working
life
 and social
life
. In my
view
, I believe that if
people
 spent
time
 with their
colleagues
 after
work
, they would get stressed because
this
 would make
people
 think their
work
 is not finished.
People
 need to take their own free
time
 which is apart from their
work
.
Therefore
, I agree with the
opinion
 that
people
's social
life
 needs to be separated from working
life
. To summarize, there are two kinds of views about how
people
 spend their social
life
 regarded co-workers. First is the
view
 of spending free
time
 with
colleagues
 and second is the
opinion
 of separating social
life
 and working
life
. These acclaims have the same primary issue for improving
people
's
job
skills
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the way to
this
 is considerably different.
Then
, in conclusion, I think that if
people
 want to develop their working efficiency, they need to take a rest from their
work
 and make their brain refresh.
Submitted by ehlight22 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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