IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

now days many people choose to be self-employed rather than working in organization, what are the causes ? and what are the disadvantages of being self-employed

#people #organization
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays technology is expanding day by day so it has
increaed
Correct your spelling
increased
created
 a need of local people. Communities have changed
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 traditional approach
working
Change preposition
to working
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
a perticular
show examples
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 company and started working as an individual.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
light
on
Change preposition
up
show examples
 the reason causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 changes and
reverse
Correct article usage
the reverse
show examples
 impact of being self-employed.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
due to
Linking Words
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
advancement in all the ways most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers have started working as an individual or freelancer
work
Use synonyms
 to obtain certain goals. Not only
this
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 approach will able to help them to manage
Use synonyms
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance rather
being
Correct word choice
than being
show examples
 an employed under organization.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to explore all the
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
instead
Linking Words
 of doing one
perticualar
Correct your spelling
particular
work
Use synonyms
 for
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
IIT
Add an article
the IIT
show examples
 students have started working as an entrepreneur
instead
Linking Words
 of working in
MNC
Correct your spelling
MNCs
 and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
reachiest
Correct your spelling
richest
preachiest
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there will be a
detrimetal
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effect if someone would choose
not
Add the particle
tonot
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 for any company, because they may
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
sacrifice their short-term financial need as
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
business
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 always required fresh investments. In
addision
Correct your spelling
addition
, they may fall into debt
due to
Linking Words
over leverage
Add a hyphen
over-leverage
show examples
 and
further
Linking Words
 repercussions
such
Linking Words
 as depression, anxiety etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, youngsters are more tend to become
bankcrupt
Correct your spelling
bankrupt
 in
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
 because everyone wants to start
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 without having
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 model analysis.
In contrast
Linking Words
, sometimes they became
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role modem for the next generation if they are able to achieve success. In conclusion, all the right steps may help to build
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future and any wrong
dession
Correct your spelling
decision
 may have
Correct article usage
an adserve
show examples
adserve
Correct your spelling
adverse
 impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Being
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
self-employed will always
benfited
Correct your spelling
benefit
 if they will understand the
business
Use synonyms
 before leaving or avoiding jobs in
nearby
Add an article
the nearby
a nearby
show examples
 company.
Submitted by kintans54 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: