IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that getting adegree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe it would be better to go straight to work and get experiance instead. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #adegree #university #guarantee #job #work #experiance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 for obtaining a
degree
Use synonyms
 will be assurance
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
good
job
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 straight after school or during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school is better so you have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss why is important to
study
Use synonyms
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 in
university
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 get the
job
Use synonyms
 you would like and we will review why is important to have
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
instaed
Correct your spelling
instead
 to
study
Use synonyms
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 accurate only depends what are the person's expectations in life and how they want to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life for some
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
such
Linking Words
constructions
Change preposition
as constructions
show examples
 make them happy so they just need to get
experience
Use synonyms
 through life.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
 positions only can
be obtain
Change the verb form
be obtained
show examples
 if you go to
university
Use synonyms
 and if you
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when you
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
university
Use synonyms
 you are increasing
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 knowledge which can open doors in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Study
Wrong verb form
Studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 in some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 can make you have the jobs you want in the
future
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the employability
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 coming from oxford
university
Use synonyms
 is 95 % after the first year of
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 to get a good
job
Use synonyms
 you have to go to
university
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some jobs
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 require
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 go to
university
Use synonyms
 to start working on them and you just get the
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 by working in them. Some
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
 or plumbing or waitress you
not required
Change the verb form
did not require
have not required
show examples
 a
degree
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in there and sometimes
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these jobs
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 give you
experience
Use synonyms
 and the money you need to
be want
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 you
want
Add the particle
to want
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
 is
hand
Correct article usage
a hand
show examples
 on
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 which you only can learn by
experience
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 for gain a good
job
Use synonyms
 you need to go to
university
Use synonyms
 and other believe you just need to get
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 through the
job
Use synonyms
. In
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we review both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
. In my opinion, both are important and
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 each individual what would like to do in the
future
Use synonyms
 as
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
.
Submitted by usoncata on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: