IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Scientists tell us some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that million of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

#scientists #activities #health #million #people
There are controversial perspectiveS heating UP a debate over how to live
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
show examples
.
While
 scientists claim that there are a wealth of
activities
 suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people’s health, some opposites still act
bad
Change preposition
like bad
show examples
activities
.
This
 essay is devoted to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent effective solutions to
this
 alarming problem. Without a shadow of a doubt, a large number of useful
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 from professional experts,
however
, people ignore them and have numerous harmful
activities
, especially smoking.
This
 is because people have a tendency to use
smoke
 in order to decrease stress when they have been under pressure in their lives.
Moreover
, the low price of
smoke
Wrong verb form
smoking
show examples
 is one of the reasons for
this
 problem.
For example
, Vietnamese man utilize
smoke
 with high frequency from young to old age because of anxiety in their work and every
smoke
 is fifteen thousand Viet Nam Dong.
Hence
, the price and the bad habit of
user
Correct article usage
the user
show examples
 are common justifications.
While
 the reasons
are widely acknowledge
Change the verb form
are widely acknowledged
show examples
, it is necessary to introduce far-reaching solutions for troubles. The government acts as
precursor
Add an article
a precursor
show examples
 in minimizing
this
 negative status.
For example
, the Viet Nam governor give some rules to limit it
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 for
smoke
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and so on.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society projects are one of the most efficient resolutions.
For instance
, in Thailand, tremendous state advert about the negative impacts of
smoke
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 and surrounding
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 with the aim of decreasing it.
Thus
, rising
smoke
 tax and
advertising intensive
Add a hyphen
advertising-intensive
show examples
 effects of it should be done
due to
 people’s health. In conclusion, it is vital for people to increase awareness of bad
activities
, especially smoking.
In addition
, the government and state have
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 responsibility for their
residents’s
Remove the s
residents’
show examples
 well-being.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: