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Band 4.5

Some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime ‎while others like to change the type of job they do. Discuss both views and give ‎your opinion.‎

#people #work #type #job #lifetime #‎while #change #‎your
Change
 is inevitable in everyone's
life
. There are many who
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
show examples
 to
work
 in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 job for
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
show examples
life
whereas
 some
people
 fancy
to
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
change
the
Change the word
their
show examples
work
time
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
time
. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments will discuss in
essay
Correct article usage
the essay
show examples
further
. On the
one
 hand, some
people
chooses
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to
work
 in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place. There are a plethora of reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 scenario.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost cause is job security and comfort. In
this
 fast pace
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 everyone needs money to survive and to earn money
one
 must have a good kind of job. So some
people
 are afraid to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their employment in order to find new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. Other than that employee fears
to accept
Change the verb form
accepting
show examples
the new
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
challenge
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
show examples
 with the new company. Some
finds
Change the verb form
find
show examples
 it really difficult to adjust
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
people
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 want to come out of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 comfort zone and not have enough guts to try a new thing.
On the other hand
 , some prefer to
change
 in their
life
 so they choose to switch their
work
time
 by
time
.
Firstly
, you can learn new skills if you choose to
work
 for
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 firms.
One
 can have enough
expireance
Correct your spelling
experience
 to deal
serious
Change preposition
with serious
show examples
 problems in
life
. By working for various companies
one
 can have knowledge about every field. Some
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to explore every field by working . By agglomerating all the points aforementioned
abouve
Correct your spelling
above
one
 can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the conclusion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scenario has
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own merits and demerits but
people
 has to
change
 their
work
 to
expiereance
Correct your spelling
experience
 new skills in their lives.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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