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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares the percentage of international students and the percentage of UK learners gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university.

The graph compares the percentage of international students and the percentage of UK learners gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university.
#percentage #students #uk #learners #second #class #degrees #university
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The provided bar chart information about the change in
UK
Use synonyms
 and international
pupils
Use synonyms
 gained
second
Add a hyphen
second-class
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class
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 degrees or better at a major
UK
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 university in 2009 , with data presented on a percentage scale.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
UK
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students
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
with the
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 most population second
class
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 degrees or better were sociology .
However
Linking Words
, the international
pupils
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 were the most liked
class
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
inforamtion
Correct your spelling
information
 technology. In detail.
UK
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students
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 were not interested in
classes
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 of
inforamtion
Correct your spelling
information
 technology and electrical engineering , about 55%, and about 60% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the
classes
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 were very
intertested
Correct your spelling
interested
 by international
pupils
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, around 80% and about 83% respectively. And, the number of two types of
students
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 that gained second nursing and accountancy
classes
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 degrees or better was almost the same figure.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
classes
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 of international law ,
soiciology
Correct your spelling
sociology
,
english
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English
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 literature and art history tended to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK
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students
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than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 international
students
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 .
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
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, the number of international law
class
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 learning the
UK
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stdudents
Correct your spelling
students
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than international
pupils
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gaining a degree and better, by about 20%.
Submitted by moneekun on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, pupils, class, students, classes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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