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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates three different fast foods that were consumed by adolescents in Mauritius for a 30-
year
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period
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 from 1985 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of pizza dropped markedly over the
period
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.
In contrast
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, the other two fast foods experienced a significant rise in the same
period
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, In 1985, pizza was the most liked food among teenagers in Mauritius. which was eaten 60
times
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 per
year
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. After that,
this
Linking Words
 figure declined considerably
,
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apply
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 and reached its lowest point
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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, when pizza was consumed only ten
times
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 in one
year
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.
In contrast
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, fried chicken was the least consumed food in 1985, only being consumed about five
times
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 a
year
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.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose sharply to 60
times
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 per
year
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 in 2005.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the figure remained stable until 2010, and
then
Linking Words
 slightly increased to 62
times
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 in 2015. In 1985, Mauritian young adults ate hamburgers ten
times
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 a
year
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. But,
this
Linking Words
 number climbed continuously, and reached its peak
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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 with 70
times
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 a
year
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 in 2015, which was the most eaten fast food in that
year
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, in contrast".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, times, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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