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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps show changes that took place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25 year period from 1980 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The maps show changes that took place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25 year period from 1980 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#maps #show #changes #place #youngsville #zealand #year #period #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Overall
Linking Words
, the detailed map
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Change the capitalization
Islip
show examples
Correct article usage
the islip
show examples
islip
Change the capitalization
Islip
show examples
town
Use synonyms
 centre in Youngsville in New Zealand which took
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
placed
Replace the word
place
show examples
 between 1980 to 2005 In 1980 majority of
Use synonyms
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
 was built on the middle portion of the map where
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
Road
Use synonyms
 was surrounded by shops and each side of the
road
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
led to
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 park with
housing
Correct article usage
a housing
show examples
 facility on
South
Add an article
the South
show examples
 side of the
town
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant change
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occurred in 2005, with
totally
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
 overstating development of the
town
Use synonyms
 centre, followed by
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of
dual
Correct article usage
a dual
show examples
 carriageway,
instead
Linking Words
 of
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 line, which would have covered approximately all the
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 and
amenity
Fix the agreement mistake
amenities
show examples
 in the middle of the
town
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
Use synonyms
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 have become pedestrian
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 only which would be
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 accessible option for people for their shopping.
Northern
Add an article
The northern
show examples
 side of the shop had
demo
Correct article usage
a demo
show examples
into
Change preposition
of
show examples
essential
Add an article
the essential
an essential
show examples
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 of bus station shopping malls and car parking space for
Add an article
a resident
the resident
show examples
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 with a new housing space with
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
road
Use synonyms
 , which can
be forgot
Change the verb form
be forgotten
show examples
.
South
Add an article
The south
show examples
map
Capitalize word
Map
show examples
was
Change the verb form
was also accommodated
was also accommodating
show examples
also
Linking Words
 accommodate with a new residential area but
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
 has become smaller than it was before where is school have maintained
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
access
Add an article
the access
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
 highway.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, road with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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