IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show stages in the development of simple cooking equipment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show stages in the development of simple cooking equipment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #diagrams #show #stages #development #equipment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
 diagram depicts the phases for one type of simple cooking equipment. It is clear from the graph that the development of
this
 cuisine tool passed through three stages.
According to
 what is shown,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first and second stages it is exceptionally easy to
made
Change the verb
make
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in
group
Add a comma
,group
show examples
 A the only thing we need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
cooking
Change the verb form
cook
show examples
 the food
is only bring
Change the verb form
is only brought
show examples
 hot stones and put them under the saucepan. Meanwhile,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mindset class expresses about
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 clay shield that
burnin
Correct your spelling
burnin'
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with fire in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
front of it until the
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 of the eat
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 red.
On the other hand
, the latest development of equipment is defined as clay lining that
cover
Change the verb form
covers
show examples
 it with
tow
Correct article usage
a tow
show examples
 handle and tow pot the
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
show examples
 of it is
support
Fix the infinitive
to support
show examples
 the clay and safety to use it. and inside of
this
tool
Add a comma
,tool
show examples
 it has
plate
Correct article usage
a plate
show examples
 or grate for charcoal. The end of it has
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 structure
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 metal that has
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 door
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 helps to enter the air
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 balance the heat.
To sum up
, we could say that the first and second
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
 it very
sample
Correct your spelling
simple
show examples
 to
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 and use but the
last
 one
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is incredibly complex.
Submitted by ms4066426 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: