IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people in developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibility towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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A highly controversial issue today relates to the responsibility to take action against climate change is greater for developed countries than developing countries.And there are those who advocate for equal environmental responsibility among nations.In
this
Linking Words
 ,essay I am going to examine from both points of view and
then
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 give my opinion on the matter. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that it is essential for every mankind around the world should understand the importance of saving nature in every possible way.The main reason for believing
this
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 is that mankind is united and the mistake of one will be suffered by all.It is
also
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 possible to say that no individual nation single-handedly can make changes.One good illustration of
this
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 is planting more trees in each part of the world has made a visible difference and gradually the pollution is reducing.
On the other hand
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,it is
also
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 possible to make an opposing case.It is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the fact it is the only duty of the leading nations that have more money and manpower will only fight against global heating as underdeveloped will fail in support.People often have
this
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 opinion because they assume that the countries with great power are generally the
destroyer
Fix the agreement mistake
destroyers
show examples
 and
hence
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 it's their role to battle the situation.A particularly good example here is the less developed states will not have enough resources that
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help
in saving
Wrong verb form
save
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mother earth
Correct your spelling
Mother Earth
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. In conclusion,I believe both arguments have their merits.On balance,
however
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,I feel that every individual representative can make a difference.
This
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 is because , like destroying the beautiful land everybody is liable
likewise
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 saving it for the future is
also
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 a pragmatic deed.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by explicitly stating your opinion at the end, rather than just outlining both views. This helps the reader understand your stance early on.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing. For example, using 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the contrary' can help connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are specific and relevant. Instead of saying 'planting more trees' as a generality, consider discussing specific initiatives or statistics related to tree planting in various countries.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterating your opinion more strongly and directly can enhance clarity and reinforce your position for the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to discussing a controversial issue.
task achievement
You attempted to provide examples to support your points, which is a positive aspect of your response.
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