Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind , such as reading and doing word puzzles . Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time . Dicuss two views and give your opinion .

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest #dicuss #two

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It is often said that it is necessary to use free time for hobbies that enhance genius ,

for instance

Linking Words

doing puzzles and reading books . Others believe that relaxing the intellect during leisure activities is more important .

This

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essay will discuss both sides of the argument and conclude that the former choice is the best option .

There

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

can be said that some nations decide to use free time to improve the psyche . In fact , many teenagers will gain knowledge through reading books or learning something new . It is

benefit

Replace the word

a beneficial

show examples

activity for students to improve concentration .

For instance

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playing

Rephrase

when playing

show examples

strategy games

such

Linking Words

as chess with friends

as well as

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they need to think to win the games . Another point is it develops problem-solving skills illustrated by doing puzzles like crossword , and sudoku .

For example

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, they need to have quick reflexes to know the way to play because if they play wrong , they will lose .

Otherwise

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, playing musical instruments can help folk quick thinking and reactions to remember the rhythm and how to play it .

Thus

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, society will be more talented and more confident . In an ideal world, perhaps the public prefers resetting the instinct . As an illustration , the population can play computer games or listen to music to

remind

Verb problem

remember

show examples

after a

hard-working

Correct word choice

hard

show examples

day .

Moreover

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, watching television or movies can be made relieve stress .

For example

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, the community can choose comedy or something funny to watch . Indeed ,

the

Correct word choice

if the

show examples

public knows how to stop it directly , it will be good for the brain

whereas

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if folk are addicted to it , may be bad for life . In conclusion ,

above all

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reasons in the essay , I prefer using leisure time to improve my mind to make ourselves better than being addicted to social media .

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Aug 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction is weak and lacks clarity. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. It is important to structure the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion to guide the reader through the argument.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples and supports the main points. However, the ideas need to be presented in a more organized and coherent manner to effectively address the task question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind , such as reading and doing word puzzles . Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time . Dicuss two views and give your opinion .

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that consumerism can boost the economy and create business and jobs. Others consider that society becomes a 'throw-away society' producing unnecessary waste. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Crime rates in most countries is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. What do you think? What can be done to reduce crime rate?