Some people think the government should ban dangerous sports, while others think it is people’s freedom to do whatever sports activities they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a matter of debate whether authorities should be strict enough against perilous
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
participants
Correct word choice
whether participants

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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should be given
liberty
Correct article usage
the liberty

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to choose any game they like.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of giving
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights

It seems that right may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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regarding the choice of
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I believe that brutal
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that glorify violence should be banned completely. On the one hand, certain factors justify
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions

It seems that opinion may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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regarding the freedom
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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these
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these
risk intensive
Add a hyphen
risk-intensive

It seems that risk intensive is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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hobbies are thrilling and exciting which provide a level of excitement with momentary pleasure to the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who perform them.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, by playing them they can even conquer their fear too.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, laws banning these unsafe
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can face strong
objection
Fix the agreement mistake
objections

It seems that objection may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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from individuals who are involved directly or indirectly in these
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as they are dependent upon these for their financial needs and family circumstances.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they act as an important component of tourism by attracting thousands of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

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kick boxing
Correct your spelling
kickboxing

The word kick boxing seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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is played at
national
Correct article usage
the national

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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level in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA

Your article usage with the geographic name USA may be incorrect.

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and has a huge fan following over there.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I assert that
state
Correct article usage
the state

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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should take strict action against these
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

due to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the following reasons. First and foremost,
its
Correct your spelling
it is

The word its doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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responsibility to protect its public from any kind of mishappening so they can ensure public safety by imposing a ban on
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of hazardous
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it
demoralize
Change the verb form
demoralizes

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb demoralize are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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others to take part and gives
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase poor message seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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poor message to children who always tend to imitate the ones who are performing these challenging
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and by doing so they can get distracted from their original aim in life.
Last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

but not
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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least,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun kind. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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of adventurous
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

bring tragedies which results
into
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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fatal accidents and players
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

spectators may
loose
Correct your spelling
lose

The word loose doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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their precious lives. In conclusion , no doubt one part of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
society
criticize
Change the verb form
criticizes

The verb criticize does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the interference of
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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for taking part in any activity which
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like ,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add the comma(s)
however,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter however. Consider adding the comma(s).

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I feel that considering the safety of
Add an article
the

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
public , these should totally be prohibited.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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