n increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#n #people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

In recent years, there can be seen a rising trend of having surgery to enhance the outer look of individuals.

This

can be

due to

the set

beauty

standards, made by social

media

and numerous commercialization done by

makeup

industries. I believe that

this

can put dramatic effects on humans, making them feel uncomfortable, about their natural

beauty

The social

Correct article usage

Social

show examples

media

and

beauty

bloggers have set high

beauty

standards that give inferiority complex to

people

Moreover

beauty

industries have gone crazy for selling their goods and services by putting up enormous advertisements to attract

people

Also

, there is a trend that has been set on social

media

having

Change the verb form

to have

show examples

pointed

nose

Fix the agreement mistake

noses

show examples

and bold lips that

makeup

surgeries made possible.

For example

, botox was the famous surgery for having bold lips, so

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

girls with small lips go for it.

Consequently

, it became a trend, and

people

that were conscious about their looks to got it done.

Furthermore

, there are fewer

people

that praise the natural

beauty

one

whereas

, more

people

who follow the trends without thinking that it is going to suit them or not.

On the other hand

, our natural

beauty

is the uniqueness

that is

gifted to us by God. I firmly believe that appreciating

one

's simplicity and

beauty

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more essential rather than persuading them to have

makeup

abscission.

Also

, if

one

is having self-confidence in himself

then

one

can make them feel uncomfortable about their looks. We should tell

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

that we are perfect and beautiful, rather than listening to other

makeup

influencers and surgeons. As they are only promoting their business without the concerns that our faces can

also

be destroyed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

failed surgeries. In conclusion, the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

can be the numerous advertisements that are done by

makeup

industries and the set

beauty

standards on social

media

beauty

bloggers and

makeup

artists. I firmly believe that it can have

significantly

Change the adverb

significant

show examples

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

on society making individuals feel more insecure and doubtful about their natural

beauty

, which can cause more self-depreciation and stress among youngsters.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Tue Aug 15 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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n increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this.

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?