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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
The given bar chart explains the
exports
Use synonyms
 performed in 2015 and 2016 of different products within a nation.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the table illustrates the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 in
exports
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2016 as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe in 2016 the export of every item remained high as that of 2015, except for Gems and jewellery, which was slightly above in 2015 than
2016’s
Change preposition
in 2016’s
show examples
exports
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we see that the petroleum products
as well as
Linking Words
 the engineered goods is showing almost a similar trend i.e., there is an export of almost 60 billion dollar for both of them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agricultural products alongside textiles
also
Linking Words
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 us
same
Add an article
a same
the same
show examples
 pattern. For both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years a total of nearly $30 billion
Use synonyms
exports
Change preposition
in exports
show examples
 were done.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, if we have a look at the table we conclude that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the percentage
change
Use synonyms
 for
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
an agricultural
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 for both years remained
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 (0.81%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
textiles
Correct article usage
the textiles
show examples
category
Add a comma
,category
show examples
 the
change
Use synonyms
 was highest recorded at 15.24%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in 2015–2016, the proportional
change
Use synonyms
 for petroleum was 3%, for engineered
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
, it was 8.5% and
lastly
Linking Words
, for gems variation was 5.18%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words exports, change with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exports
  • categories
  • value
  • percentage change
  • compare
  • trends
  • changes
  • chart
  • table
  • overview
  • introduce
  • highlight
  • describe
  • summarize
  • information
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