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Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the statement that the government should invest more money in science education rather than subjects to develop the country?

#government #money #science #education #subjects #country
It is a well-documented saying that the aspect that the government should strengthen is
science
education
, not other
subjects
 which can contribute to the improvement of the country. From my perspective, I partly disagree with the above statement.
This
 essay will analyze how unwise it is for leaders of a
nation
 to spend more on
education
 related to
science
 before pointing out the merits of another one
that is
 beneficial for a country’s development. On the one hand, it is understandable why some governments focus more on scientific
education
. It is apparent that
science
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
key to
promote
Change the verb form
promoting
show examples
 a
nation
's position among other worldwide countries. The possible reason is the modernization of
science
 can tell if the
nation
 is developed.
Nevertheless
, since scientific
education
 is only a category of a country and compared to other potential
subjects
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can level up a
nation
, it is flawed for the government to pay so much money on the former and ignore the latter. In brief, I would contend that
subjects
 regardless of
science
also
 deserve the government's investment.
On the other hand
, other
subjects
such
 as humanity, literature, crafts, arts,
etc
Correct your spelling
etc.
also
 play a pivotal role in enhancing a country. First and foremost, a majority of the aforementioned
subjects
 teach
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public morality and offer them entertainment. Unlike natural
science
, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 quite sophisticated and
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 many professional experiments, social
subjects
 concentrate on the well-being of humanity by bringing them relaxed categories of life.
For instance
, the importance of music and arts is shown in the success of South Korean entertainment careers, which is the K-pop genre. K-pop has brought massive incomes for many big companies in Korea and significantly developed the Korean economy
as a consequence
. In conclusion,
while
 there may be some justifications for officials of nations to use more of their budgets on
science
education
 rather than other
subjects
, I believe that non-
science
education
 is worth the government’s investment as
equally
Rephrase
much
show examples
 as
science
subjects
 and that leaders of countries had better make similar contributions to both sides.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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