IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the statement that the government should invest more money in science education rather than subjects to develop the country?

#government #money #science #education #subjects #country
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It is a well-documented saying that the aspect that the government should strengthen is
science
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education
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, not other
subjects
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 which can contribute to the improvement of the country. From my perspective, I partly disagree with the above statement.
This
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 essay will analyze how unwise it is for leaders of a
nation
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 to spend more on
education
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 related to
science
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 before pointing out the merits of another one
that is
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 beneficial for a country’s development. On the one hand, it is understandable why some governments focus more on scientific
education
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. It is apparent that
science
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technology
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and technology
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is
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are
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 considered
as
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apply
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a
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apply
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key to
promote
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promoting
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 a
nation
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's position among other worldwide countries. The possible reason is the modernization of
science
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 can tell if the
nation
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 is developed.
Nevertheless
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, since scientific
education
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 is only a category of a country and compared to other potential
subjects
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which
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that
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 can level up a
nation
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, it is flawed for the government to pay so much money on the former and ignore the latter. In brief, I would contend that
subjects
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 regardless of
science
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also
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 deserve the government's investment.
On the other hand
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, other
subjects
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such
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 as humanity, literature, crafts, arts,
etc
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etc.
also
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 play a pivotal role in enhancing a country. First and foremost, a majority of the aforementioned
subjects
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 teach
general
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the general
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 public morality and offer them entertainment. Unlike natural
science
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, which
are
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is
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 quite sophisticated and
include
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includes
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 many professional experiments, social
subjects
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 concentrate on the well-being of humanity by bringing them relaxed categories of life.
For instance
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, the importance of music and arts is shown in the success of South Korean entertainment careers, which is the K-pop genre. K-pop has brought massive incomes for many big companies in Korea and significantly developed the Korean economy
as a consequence
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there may be some justifications for officials of nations to use more of their budgets on
science
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education
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 rather than other
subjects
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, I believe that non-
science
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education
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 is worth the government’s investment as
equally
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much
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 as
science
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subjects
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 and that leaders of countries had better make similar contributions to both sides.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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