IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
#town #garlsdon #supermarket #two #sites
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This
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity is generated step by step in a hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 station.
Firstly
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, the
water
Use synonyms
 that comes from the river is stored in the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 by the dam,
while
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 the dam is opened in the daytime and closes at night.
However
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, in the day time
water
Use synonyms
 flow is used to generate the
power
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, the flow has come into the
power
Use synonyms
 station which has reversible turbines and an operating generator.
Moreover
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, we can see that there are
power
Use synonyms
 lines to national grids from the generator.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 stores in a low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
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Add a comma
,night-time
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night-time
Correct your spelling
night time
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this
Linking Words
 system works reversibly.
Water
Use synonyms
 which is stored in the low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 has pumped to
high-level
Add an article
the high-level
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reservoir
Use synonyms
 by using generators in the
power
Use synonyms
 station.
Water
Use synonyms
 flow is
stores
Wrong verb form
stored
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 in the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 and the dam is closed at that time.
Overall
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, looking for more information,
this
Linking Words
 figure has shown four main stages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 energy generation from the main step to the
last
Linking Words
.
Submitted by skn  on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, water, reservoir with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Foot traffic
  • Green space
  • Job creation
  • Local property values
  • Parking availability
  • Pollution
  • Proximity
  • Public transportation
  • Sustainability
  • Traffic patterns
  • Residential areas
  • Shopping convenience
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