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Band 4.5

Some people think that people choose their job bases on income.to what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #bases #income
Renovation is the main direction in
the
Remove the article
apply
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any old city,
therefore
 every building will be destroyed
by
Change preposition
over
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 time,
moreover
, the new habit planning in
such
 a way as to be at any moment
replacing
Wrong verb form
replaced
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,
rebuilding
Wrong verb form
rebuilt
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 or just
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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demolished. On the first hand, some people think that repairing is
good
Change the article
a good
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 idea, and the historical view of
town
Correct article usage
the town
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 will have been
saving
Wrong verb form
saved
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while
 its inhabitants are living there, and it truly
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 ambition, if
city
Add an article
the city
a city
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 has not been growing up and residents do not need in the new infrastructure or in the modern transport system, because overpopulated place always harms urbanism.
On the other hand
, the new buildings are more actual for needs of the town, because the old districts do not have a parking place for automobile, motorcycle, or bicycle,
moreover
, the fire safety really in,
for example
, sky tower be at the top, unlike than ever buildings in
central
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the central
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 zone of my city, where locate my hometown, in the Moscow. Architecture is beautiful, of course, but
government
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the government
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 sometimes does not help to save it and the house becomes dangerous to live in. In many cases the problem, which I noticed above has
solution
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a solution
the solution
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 and it consists in rebuilding
,
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apply
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 because the new owners of buildings want to earn a lot of money and building glasses tower without
design
Correct article usage
a design
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 code of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 on these sites is the simplest answer for it. In my opinion, the whole history of city-building was
foundation
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the foundation
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 on compromises between all residents and we should save
this
 tradition,
that
Correct word choice
so that
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 our life will become more comfortable in any district, not only in
Correct article usage
the сenter
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сenter
Correct your spelling
centre
 of town.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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