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Band 6

The charts below show the propo时ions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the propo时ions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
#show #propo时ions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
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The pie charts compare the ability to speak different types of
languages
Use synonyms
 in
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
, which include French, German,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and others in the years 2000 and 2010. It is noticeable that
students
Use synonyms
 who didn’t speak any other
language
Use synonyms
 were the main group, and the least
students
Use synonyms
 group spoke two other
languages
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, it’s clear to see
Spanish
Use synonyms
 was the most common other
language
Use synonyms
 that
students
Use synonyms
 are able to speak in 2000,
however
Linking Words
, it become the least common
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to French and German in 2010. About one-third of the
students
Use synonyms
 didn’t speak any other
languages
Use synonyms
, it’s around 30% and 35% of
students
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 in 2000 and 2010 respectively. And there is a 5% increase in the group with no other
language
Use synonyms
 speaking. For
students
Use synonyms
 who have the ability to speak two other
languages
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
British
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students
Use synonyms
 didn’t
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
change between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and 2010, which is 10%. And it’s detectable to see, in 2000
Spanish
Use synonyms
 was the primary
language
Use synonyms
 apart from English spoken by
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
, but in 2010 there was another
language
Use synonyms
 becomes the most common other
language
Use synonyms
 among
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
. There is a visible fall in
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and French
languages
Use synonyms
 spoken by UK
students
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010, in the
Spanish
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 it fell from 20% to 10%, which is the most obvious decrease, and in French ,
language
Use synonyms
 it fell by 5 % from 15% to 10%.
However
Linking Words
, two other
languages
Use synonyms
 spoken and another
language
Use synonyms
 spoken saw a 5% increase in both of them.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, british, students, spanish, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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