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Band 4

Many people hold the view that it is better to buy their home rather than rent it. Do you agree with this statement or not.

#people #home #rent
It is thought by some that having their own accommodation is a much better decision than living in a rented one. Despite the writer contending that renting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 living releases the burden of finance, many
people
 think that purchasing their own home would be beneficial in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. The first salient point
needs
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
show examples
 to be considered is
people
 just need to pay a fee monthly including water, electricity and a small tax to the landlord, which is more effective for most of those who do not have enough money to afford a whole house or those who just graduated and started their careers.
Moreover
, buying a home requires a huge amount of money that normal workers can barely afford, even if they could, they could hardly pay their water and electricity bills and so on and so forth. Taking Vietnam as a perfect example, where
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
 earn a common wage of more than four
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 dollars per month. It would take at least thirty years to buy their own house or flat if they work continuously.
Furthermore
, living in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rented accommodation has the same atmosphere as living in an owned one. The only difference between them is the
rented
Replace the word
rental
show examples
 fees need to be paid when staying in a rented house or flat.
However
, some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that purchasing their own place
living
Change preposition
of living
show examples
 is a much better decision. Despite
this
 opinion might be true, it is not a suitable choice for everyone as it could lead to
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
show examples
 burden. Taking everything into account, renting a place to live is a fantastic way for
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
people
.
Therefore
, the writer thinks that everyone should have a look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their finance before giving a decision about buying or renting
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • property ladder
  • mortgage
  • rental agreement
  • down payment
  • equity
  • appreciate
  • rental market
  • monthly installments
  • credit score
  • repairs and maintenance
  • landlord
  • tenant
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