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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map below illustrates two possible sites for the school of the town of Canterbury.

The map below illustrates two possible sites for the school of the town of Canterbury.
The map below compares two possible
school
Use synonyms
 locations in the
town
Use synonyms
 of Canterbury.
Overall
Linking Words
, one would be located in the
north east
Correct your spelling
northeast
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 in the
Town
Use synonyms
 Centre,
whereas
Linking Words
 the second one is on the southern side of Canterbury, by the main roads in the countryside.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first
school
Use synonyms
 location is going to be built just
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 from
Sturry
Use synonyms
 with a population of 7000 people.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the second
school
Use synonyms
 is
planning
Wrong verb form
planned
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 in the south of the
Town
Use synonyms
 Centre
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
7
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 from Chartham with less population than
Sturry
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3500.
In addition
Linking Words
,the first
school
Use synonyms
 will be nearer to a university in the north of the
town
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if the
school
Use synonyms
 is for countryside citizens from
Sturry
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it will be better to consider the first option. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is located there and across the main road which leads to
Sturry
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the second
school
Use synonyms
 location would be perfect for the people from the
Town
Use synonyms
 Centre and
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the southern side of the 
town
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, town, sturry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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