The table below shows the percentage of employers in various sectors having difficulty in finding staff in 2003 and 2004

#percentage #employers #sectors #difficulty #staff

The chart exemplifies the number of managers in a range of sectors dealing with issues in finding

labours

Fix the agreement mistake

labour

show examples

over the period starting 2003 to 2004. In each of these years,

it is clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the variety of optimal employees had more difficulty in discovery in all sectors including manufacturing, building,

commerce

and

services

than unskilled, technical and managerial workers combined.

In addition

, it is noticeable that

commerce

was solely

occupation

Correct article usage

an occupation

show examples

that owned no percentage of difficulty in recruiting technical and managerial staff in 2004.

Firstly

betweeb

Correct your spelling

between

2002 and 2004, the proportion of obstacles in discovering eminent labours in producing rose from 45% to 59% and

rising

Add an article

the rising

a rising

show examples

trend was seen in the figures for building and

services

of 3% and 4%, respectively.

However

, in

commerce

Add a comma

,commerce

show examples

the quantity of difficulty in

rescruiting

Correct your spelling

recruiting

employees,

by contrast

, cut its problems by 6% in the year 2004.

In other words

, technical and managerial labours by 4% in building, 3% in

services

and 2% in both manufacturing and

commerce

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

trends for

discoverying

Correct your spelling

discovering

unskilled staff were significantly similar to finding prime employees in all four careers. It was different from the marginal upward trends of the figures for producing , building and

services

, the categories of

commerce

diminish vigorously by 3%.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Wed Aug 16 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words commerce, services with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .