IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph below shows the trends in international money transfers sent by immigrants from the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia from 2000 to 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the trends in international money transfers sent by immigrants from the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia from 2000 to 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #trends #money #transfers #immigrants #states #kingdom #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates data regarding international
money
Use synonyms
 transfers from three different countries from 2000 to 2021. Generally speaking, the rate considerably increased during
this
Linking Words
 time period.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 flows from America and Oceania faced a steady rise until 2018, the European island suffered a significant drop between 2006 and 2008. In 2000, the number of transactions in the USA was higher compared to the other two areas.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the curve started with approximately 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000, surging up to roughly 65
million
Use synonyms
 after 8 years. Between 2008 and 2010 the rate lowered by 5
million
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 it rose again until 2018,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it reached a peak of 80
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it
then
Linking Words
 sank by almost 10
million
Use synonyms
 in the following two years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, at both the beginning and the end of the considered time interval,
money
Use synonyms
 operations from Australia were lower than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
those in the U.S. and the U.K.
However
Linking Words
, the evolution was constantly and steadily positive. On the
oppsite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 side, starting with slightly less than 15
million
Use synonyms
 transactions, cash flow sent from the U.K. almost doubled in just two years, accounting for 30
million
Use synonyms
 in 2002. The tendency remained positive until 2006, and
then
Linking Words
 plunged to 20
million
Use synonyms
 in 2008, achieving the lowest prevalence of all the three considered areas.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the transaction rate in the U.K. flourished again, reaching its peak in 2018, with a total of 70
million
Use synonyms
. After that, exactly like the U.S.A., Great Britain
then
Linking Words
 saw a modest decrease in the number of
money
Use synonyms
transfer
Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
show examples
.
Submitted by giulia-guglielmi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: