IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The line graph below shows the trends in international money transfers sent by immigrants from the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia from 2000 to 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the trends in international money transfers sent by immigrants from the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia from 2000 to 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #trends #money #transfers #immigrants #states #kingdom #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates data regarding international
money
 transfers from three different countries from 2000 to 2021. Generally speaking, the rate considerably increased during
this
 time period.
However
,
while
money
 flows from America and Oceania faced a steady rise until 2018, the European island suffered a significant drop between 2006 and 2008. In 2000, the number of transactions in the USA was higher compared to the other two areas.
Firstly
, the curve started with approximately 25
million
 in 2000, surging up to roughly 65
million
 after 8 years. Between 2008 and 2010 the rate lowered by 5
million
, and
then
 it rose again until 2018,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it reached a peak of 80
million
.
However
, it
then
 sank by almost 10
million
 in the following two years.
On the other hand
, at both the beginning and the end of the considered time interval,
money
 operations from Australia were lower than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
those in the U.S. and the U.K.
However
, the evolution was constantly and steadily positive. On the
oppsite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 side, starting with slightly less than 15
million
 transactions, cash flow sent from the U.K. almost doubled in just two years, accounting for 30
million
 in 2002. The tendency remained positive until 2006, and
then
 plunged to 20
million
 in 2008, achieving the lowest prevalence of all the three considered areas.
Nevertheless
, the transaction rate in the U.K. flourished again, reaching its peak in 2018, with a total of 70
million
. After that, exactly like the U.S.A., Great Britain
then
 saw a modest decrease in the number of
money
transfer
Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
show examples
.
Submitted by giulia-guglielmi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!