Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyles to prevent further damage. What are your views?

It is true that
climate
change
is becoming more noticeable in the 21st century, Scientists, news media, and even
individuals
are aware of
this
situation. Even though governments have the obligation to prevent
climate
discrimination, human beings have to find an alternative
way
as well. In my opinion,
individuals
can join more outdoor activities and purchase more ecological
products
to prevent extended damage. First of all, I believe that joining outdoor activities is an effective
way
to stop
climate
change
from getting worse. It is because people spend too much
electricity
when we stay indoors.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products
such
as lights, air conditioners, refrigerators, televisions, and so on all cost enormous of
electricity
. Even though humans now have an array of avenues that can be utilized to produce
electricity
,
that is
not enough for our daily cost. So ,
therefore
,
individuals
can use the source like lights and winds outdoors, and minimize the time staying at home to minimize
electricity
consumption. Another alternative
way
that people can participate is by purchasing more ecological
products
. Factories’ consumption is one of the reasons that cause
climate
change
they produce pollutant through the component
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pollutes air condition around the world and damage the ozone.
Subsequently
, ecological
products
do not require
such
a process which simultaneously reduces global pollution. By purchasing more ecological
products
, society can utilize the
products
again and again, and eliminate the pollution that
causes
Wrong verb form
is caused
show examples
by factories Stopping pollution is the optimal
way
to prevent
climate
change
and build a healthy environment. In conclusion, joining outdoor activities and buying ecological
products
are alternative ways for
individuals
to prevent
climate
discrimination. If governments cooperate with
individuals
,
this
situation can be prevented in the near future.
Submitted by anson900506 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the main topic and your position on it. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
task response
You need to fully address the task prompt, presenting a clear position and fully developing your ideas. Include more relevant examples and elaborate on your points to provide a more comprehensive response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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