nowdays, more teenagers want to become famous actors or singers. why do you think this is happening? is this a positive or negative development?

#nowdays #teenagers #actors #singers #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

want to be famous with the development of social

media

Use synonyms

. becoming famous is easy to gain.

Hower

Correct your spelling

However

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who become well

know

Wrong verb form

known

show examples

too fast

sometiomes

Correct your spelling

sometimes

make problems with their famous. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

a negative development. platforms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

gain

Change the form of the verb

gaining

show examples

many

succes

Correct your spelling

success

. Many teenagers, even

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

spend their time

to use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

social

media

Use synonyms

so much on a daily routine. So many

videoes

Wrong verb form

videos

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

uploading

Wrong verb form

uploaded

show examples

on social

media

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

facebook, youtube, tik tok,... it many ways to be famous and very easy to do

this

Linking Words

with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

smartphone and little skills edit video. Social

media

Use synonyms

land

Correct article usage

a land

show examples

peole

Correct your spelling

people

make

Correct pronoun usage

who make

show examples

their dream to be

Add an article

an idol

show examples

idol

Fix the agreement mistake

idols

show examples

. They can

comfortable

Change the adjective

comfortably

show examples

show their personality to attract followers or they

performance

Replace the word

perform

show examples

their

talened

Correct your spelling

talented

talent

. Or even they can post a daily routine and many like

this

Linking Words

. But many

people

Use synonyms

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not a

luckily

Capitalize word

Luckily

show examples

, they try to make everything to be famous but they cannot. So they decide a way very

bad

Change the word

badly

show examples

that

Linking Words

is post

Change the verb form

posts

show examples

the video is not unhealthy.

This

Linking Words

video

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

everyone angry and attract

million

Change the article

a million

show examples

views. they

Change the verb form

are

show examples

given

Change the article

show examples

enomours

Correct your spelling

enormous

success and raise very much money with no investing too much and no effort. After they had received many

critizm

Correct your spelling

criticism

critics

from many

people

Use synonyms

, they began

apologetic

Change the adjective

apologetically

show examples

and ask for forgiveness that they do. They promised that will change and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be better and receive

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

sympathy from everyone.

Lastly

Linking Words

, they become famous and earn

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

money.

This

Linking Words

trend

repeat

Change the verb form

repeats

show examples

so much that

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

network

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fed up with what famous do. Becoming

idol

Fix the agreement mistake

idols

show examples

too fast that they face up many

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

. They do not

training

Change the verb form

train

show examples

professionally and have a mistake.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they

Change the verb form

are

show examples

violented

Change preposition

show examples

the internet. they put up with

highly

Change the word

high

show examples

pressure and

intolerable

Add a missing verb

are intolerable

show examples

. They

decide

Add the particle

todecide

show examples

end up with their life. in conclusion, with

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

of platforms, becoming famous is easy to

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past. But, it

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

many hapless.

Submitted by tram.vomy on Fri Aug 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
52
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?
In the modern world , overseas travelling is most common . Individuals visiting different countries for their holidays . Some people believe that overseas visitors should charged extra compared to their home country fellow . I strongly disagree with this assertion and this essay will acknowledge the validity of this statement and elaborate my reason.
6.5
band
In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?
In the present age, people have dramatically changed the way they live, which in turn aﬀects their family relationships. Personally, I think this tendency comes with both positive and negative eﬀects.
5.5
band
Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether it is possible for a nation to have economic development and be environmental friendly. While some individuals argue this cannot be happened at the same time, I personally agree with those who believe that it is possible to have both.
4
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals support the opinion that travelling or working in a foreign country are just purpose as to studying a not native language who will be learnt ,while others argue that everyone should discover distrinctive tongue from their mother tongue in that there are lots of causes among to acquicision a job or to get about some new places.Although the amount of people who learn other languages since getting a profession or visiting somewhere is new,which are the solely targets demostrates an increase,I believe that the latter statement is the appropriate and self-evident one.
6
band
Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The allocation of significant financial resources by both governments and individuals towards the protection of animals and their habitats has sparked a debate on whether these funds could be more effectively utilized to address fundamental societal issues like poverty and healthcare. In the following, I will elaborate more on why I believe that.

nowdays, more teenagers want to become famous actors or singers. why do you think this is happening? is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?