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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table compares the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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results of
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
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 that sampled a
cross section
Add a hyphen
cross-section
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 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 at
major
Add an article
the major
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 metropolitan
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
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 about the purpose of their trip, the survey was carried
for
Change preposition
out for
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 the months of
March
Use synonyms
, June, September, and December in the year 2002.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest percentage of travelling
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 was for Business purposes in the month of
March
Use synonyms
 2022.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
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 the lowest percentage of
Use synonyms
reason
Add an article
the reason
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 for travelling was Other, which was
also
Linking Words
 in
March
Use synonyms
 2022. In 2022
March
Use synonyms
 and September the main
reason
Use synonyms
 for travelling at major metropolitan
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
 were 73% & 53% respectively.
Holiday
Add an article
The holiday
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 was
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 most travelling
reason
Use synonyms
 in the months of June and December at 54% and 35%.
Visting
Correct your spelling
Visiting
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 family was not the main
reason
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the greatest percentage by far 26% of people visiting family did so in December 2002.
While
Linking Words
 the Other category was fairly stable throughout the year at between 3% and 5%.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words march, reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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