IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The information below gives details about household income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a UK city in 2010 and 2013.

#information #household #income #food #clothes #uk #city
The data provided in the form of a table illustrates how much money people earned and
expenditures
Correct article usage
the expenditures
show examples
 of
food
 and outfits by an average family in the United Kingdom
whith
Correct your spelling
with
which
 in two years 2010 and 2013.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pie charts show the pattern of distribution of expenditures on
food
 and clothes.
Overall
,
although
 household income in British decreased over the 3 years, they had to spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money on
Correct article usage
the mention
show examples
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 items. Pie charts depicted
despite
Correct word choice
that despite
show examples
 the cost of clothes and meat
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 down, other
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
 became more expensive. From the table, it is
cleared
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that in 2010 people received 29.000 dollars
while
 that was lower at 25.000 in 2013.
In contrast
, the cost of
food
 and clothes
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each family
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
rose
 from 14.000 to 15.000 dollars.
Additionally
, diagrams show between 2010 and 1013 there was a downward trend in the price of fabrics and they were about 50% cheaper. The fees
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 meat and fish dropped from 25% to 15%. The charge
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fruit and vegetable and
daily
Correct your spelling
dairy
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 saw a growth of 15% and 5%, respectively. The expense of other
food
 and drinks remained on changed and stood at 18% entire the period.
Submitted by n.rezaei199170 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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