IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.
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The line graph compares, the information on
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance in the UK between the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 14 to 54 from the
year
Use synonyms
 1990 to 2010. To summarize, various
age
Use synonyms
 groups who watch
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
 in
cinema
Use synonyms
 theatre increases gradually
year
Use synonyms
 by
year
Use synonyms
 in which people between 44 to 54 stood first
whereas
Linking Words
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
age
Use synonyms
 groups are negligible. In the
year
Use synonyms
 1990, the information about
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 14 to 24 and 24 to 34 was 15% and 24% orderly.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 34 to 44 and 44 to 54
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
35% and 36% respectively. Till the
year
Use synonyms
 1995, each percentage in all the
age
Use synonyms
 groups
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
constantly progressed
whereas
Linking Words
 slightly declined at the start of 2000.
Further
Linking Words
, there was an improvement during the period 2000 to 2005
ranges
Wrong verb form
ranging
show examples
 20%, 33%, 42% and 48% for the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 14-24, 24-34, 34-44 and 44-54
admitttedly
Correct your spelling
admittedly
. On the flip side, in the
year
Use synonyms
 2010
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
cinema
Use synonyms
attandance
Correct your spelling
attendance
 reaches higher than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
 years, where
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 44 to 54 stayed first with 52%,
similarly
Linking Words
 21% for 14 to 24 and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 between them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, age, group, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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