Evaluate the following essay according to IELTS band descriptors for writing task 1 and extract all mistakes "essay" "the graph gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with, predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant"
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The line chart illustrates the proportion of people living in
cities
in Philippines
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020. The graph Correct article usage
the Philippines
also
provides expectations of the population after 20 years.
Overall
, from 1970 to 1990, there was a gradual climb in citizens of the cities
, whereas
after
2 decades, there was almost a slight steadiness. Add the comma(s)
,after
However
, from 2020 onwards, the cities
will be witnessing a dramatical in the population.
The Indonesian and Malaysian indicators show that the residents of the cities
are always in moderate
increase of nearly 7% to 10% every 10 years. In 1970, Indonesian Add an article
a moderate
cities
’ population were above 10%, meanwhile
in 2020, it has Add a comma
,meanwhile
been
risen by 40% and it’s predicted to be nearly 61%. With the same token, Malaysian people living in Unnecessary verb
apply
cities
grew up by 50% and will be reaching the
peak in 2040 constituting around 83%.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, the other 2 countries
charts were fluctuating. Change noun form
countries'
Correct article usage
The Philippines
Philippines
percentage increased till 1990 Change noun form
Philippines'
Philippine's
then
slowly decreased until 2010 but is going to rise again till 2040. Also
, Thai cities
passed through periods of wave, then
plateaued and will reach the highest percentage in 2040 (nearly 42%).Submitted by gamilkhaled3 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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