IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Evaluate the following essay according to IELTS band descriptors for writing task 1 and extract all mistakes "essay" "the graph gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with, predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant"

Evaluate the following essay according to IELTS band descriptors for writing task 1 and extract all mistakes "essay" "the graph gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with, predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant"
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The line chart illustrates the proportion of people living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020. The graph
also
Linking Words
 provides expectations of the population after 20 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, from 1970 to 1990, there was a gradual climb in citizens of the
cities
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
after
Add the comma(s)
,after
show examples
 2 decades, there was almost a slight steadiness.
However
Linking Words
, from 2020 onwards, the
cities
Use synonyms
 will be witnessing a dramatical in the population. The Indonesian and Malaysian indicators show that the residents of the
cities
Use synonyms
 are always in
moderate
Add an article
a moderate
show examples
 increase of nearly 7% to 10% every 10 years. In 1970, Indonesian
cities
Use synonyms
’ population were above 10%,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 in 2020, it has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
risen by 40% and it’s predicted to be nearly 61%. With the same token, Malaysian people living in
cities
Use synonyms
 grew up by 50% and will be reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in 2040 constituting around 83%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other 2
countries
Change noun form
countries'
show examples
 charts were fluctuating.
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
Philippines
Change noun form
Philippines'
Philippine's
show examples
 percentage increased till 1990
then
Linking Words
 slowly decreased until 2010 but is going to rise again till 2040.
Also
Linking Words
, Thai
cities
Use synonyms
 passed through periods of wave,
then
Linking Words
 plateaued and will reach the highest percentage in 2040 (nearly 42%).
Submitted by gamilkhaled3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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