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Band 4.5

In the past people usually stayed in one place throughout their life.These days people often move around.They often live in several different places in their lifetime.What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?

#people #place #life #move #places #lifetime
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Many years ago,
people
 live in only one
place
 throughout their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. Nowadays,they are living in several diverse places in their lifetime . There are a lot of different causes why
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people
 live in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several diverse places .
Firstly
, some
people
 may suffer from a financial side . So, they may go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad, live there and make enough money for their living, because of
this
 a lack of workplace in their countries .
Secondly
 , in some industrial cities,
people
 are suffering from a lot of diverse illnesses,
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution of
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 . So,they are leaving their cities and going
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
 village or cities to live.
Thirdly
,a lack of residence because of the density of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.That three examples are the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
 move around the
place
 to
place
.
On the other hand
,
this
 condition has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 sides ,
also
.
For instance
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 go to
other
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
place
,it would be useful for their healthy,financial side and other things.
However
,on the downside,its cons
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not less.Because,if they do that,
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
, commercial and cultural sides of the government will be lower.
For example
,the products of agriculture,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 and
people
 in the educational category will
be decrease
Change the verb form
be decreased
show examples
.
This
 is a negative influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the development of
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 .
Then
, the state will be down from
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
 of
states
Correct article usage
the states
show examples
. In conclusion,it's good that stay in one
place
 or live in
other
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
place
,
also
 .
However
,
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in their own
place
 is better than
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 around. Because it is useful not only for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 government.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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