Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#think #children #activities #videogames

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It is sometimes believed that outdoor

activities

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would be more beneficial for

children

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's development than playing

videdogames

Correct your spelling

video games

videogames

While

Linking Words

I understand why some people may oppose

this

Linking Words

opinion, I still wholeheartedly agree with it for several reasons. Opponents of

this

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view may have several arguments. They may well argue that

Use synonyms

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

can teach

children

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to use technology fluently, which is extremely essential in the current society. Since everyone nowadays works with computers, kids playing

videogames

Use synonyms

would grow up with better knowledge of computer hardware; thereby helping them to fix some computer's minor errors. Another possible argument is that playing

Use synonyms

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

can serve as career

inspirations

Fix the agreement mistake

inspiration

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For instance

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who are interested in gameplay or

graphic

Fix the agreement mistake

graphics

show examples

Use synonyms

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

might be motivated to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video game

desinger

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designers

or a

pro-gamer

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gamers

show examples

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I still agree that engaging in outdoor

activities

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is always better than playing

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videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

for various reasons. Chief among these is that outdoor

activities

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are better than video games in enhancing physical health. Playing video games means sitting in a steady position and looking at

high-contrast

Add an article

the high-contrast

a high-contrast

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screen for an extended period, which

is weakening

Wrong verb form

weakens

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the ability

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show examples

movements

Replace the word

move

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and

damaging to

Wrong verb form

damages

show examples

children

Use synonyms

's eyes. The second reason is that doing outdoor

activities

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is a way to connect to the people

closeby

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close by

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, when participating in outdoor games, like soccer,

children

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would have a chance to communicate with their teammates; thereby developing a sense of belonging with others. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may not support the idea of encouraging

children

Use synonyms

engaging

Verb problem

apply

show examples

outdoor leisure

instead

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of playing

videogames

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I still strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

suggestion given the

aformentioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

reasons.

Submitted by hungvk0911 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stick to one main idea per paragraph to improve coherence and cohesion.

task response

Try to provide balanced arguments by acknowledging counter-arguments and providing a comprehensive view of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In some countries, rich countries are becoming rich and poor are becoming poorer. What are the causes of this problem? How can this problem be tackle? educat, governm, spent earn

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live luxurious lives, in contrast, academicians and scientists earn far less. Do you agree that academicians and scientist ought to be paid more?

The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behavior). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.