Some people think sports games are important for society, while others believe they should be taken as leisure activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #games #society #leisure #activities

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Playing

sports

Use synonyms

is equally important as studying as it does not only make them physically and mentally strong.

However

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, some people think that outdoor games should be played only in free time as it may impact their career and for students their grades. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and share my opinion. To commence with, participating in

sports

Use synonyms

games is very crucial for career growth as it will boost not only their confidence to interact with other team members but

also

Linking Words

their physical endurance. It is said that a healthy mind lies in a healthy body. To elaborate , playing squad

sports

Use synonyms

boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

one's self-esteem by interacting with each other in a group and gives them the confidence to perform later in the real world.

For example

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, my cousin's brother, who used to participate in state-level basketball games is now the director of one of the largest multinational companies in the world and leads a team of 1000 employees.

Furthermore

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, children who actively participate in

sports

Use synonyms

activities are now more physically fit and have the capability to take on more challenges in the real world.

For instance

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, a study by the American Association proves that people who play

sports

Use synonyms

are more physically active to take more risks than

the one

Correct your spelling

those

show examples

who

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not indulge in any kind of outdoor

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cricket, soccer etc.

This

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evidence proves that playing

sports

Use synonyms

should be part of life .

To conclude

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, In my opinion, children who participate in team

sports

Use synonyms

become more extroverted and learn skills that are really needed for career growth.

Moreover

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, indulging in any type of outdoor

sports

Use synonyms

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

not only their body's fitness but

also

Linking Words

makes them mentally strong.

Submitted by dhingrarahul55 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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coherence and cohesion

The essay addresses the two views in a clear manner, but the conclusion lacks a restatement of the main points and a clear opinion.

task achievement

The essay provides some relevant examples and arguments, but the development of the ideas and the relevance to the prompt can be improved.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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