IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1900 and 2000. Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1900 and 2000. Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given two pie
chats
Correct your spelling
charts
show examples
 below
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 information on the changes in the worldwide
population
Use synonyms
 of different places between the period 1900 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, during both the period Asia had the largest
population
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
north
Capitalize word
North
show examples
America
Use synonyms
 was stable during both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
period. The worldwide
population
Use synonyms
 during 1900 was about 1,600 million. Asia had the largest percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 with 60% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 Europe had 25%
population
Use synonyms
 (including Russia). The two western continents North
America
Use synonyms
 and Africa contributed 5% and 4.5% respectively. Latin
America
Use synonyms
 had 3%
population
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 other places were about 2.5% during 1900. The worldwide
population
Use synonyms
 during 2000 had reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost
6billion
Correct your spelling
6 billion
. Same as 1900, in 2000 Asia had the largest
population
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 but with
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in the percentage to 54%. North
America
Use synonyms
 was at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 percentage as
1900
Change preposition
in 1900
show examples
. Africa and Latin
America
Use synonyms
 had almost doubled
the
Change the word
their
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 during 2000. The Middle East and North Africa region had 6% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, world, america with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: