IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs andbehaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledgeor experience.

People
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 have different views about the way that
visitors
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 should behave in other
countries
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. Some think that host
countries
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 should accept and
respect
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 the cultural
customs
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 and habits of
visitors
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whereas
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 others believe that
visitors
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 need to behave like the local
people
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. In
this
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 essay, I will consider both viewpoints and explain why I firmly believe that host
countries
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 should be open to cultural
differences
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. And I will begin with
views
Correct article usage
the views
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 of those who disagree with me. One of the main reasons why some
people
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 have the idea that
visitors
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 should follow local
customs
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 is that when
people
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 enter the geographical country line of another country, they should automatically accept the local rules.
This
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 means that
visitors
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 should behave like the locals. I have
travel
Wrong verb form
travelled
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 to Russia before and when I visited some local temples, I was required to wear some silk cover
in
Change preposition
on
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 my head to hide my hair because I am a female, showing
the
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apply
show examples
respect
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to
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for
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 the local religious rules. I think
this
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 is a good example of
this
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 type of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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.
However
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, I find that
this
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 argument is unconvincing. In my opinion, the
countries
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 accepting a number of
visitors
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 should
respect
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 and welcome the
differences
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of
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in
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customs
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 of
visitors
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 because
countries
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 earn money from tourists.
Tourism
Correct article usage
The tourism
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 economy is a major part of
total
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the total
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 economy in many
countries
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. After earning money from
visitors
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,
countries
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 should provide
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 and
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
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 attractions for viewing.
Therefore
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, respecting and welcoming
the
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apply
show examples
cultural
differences
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 is part of the service. What's more, in global society today, cultural difference is everywhere. Respecting helps to reduce conflicts and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 us a more beautiful world.
For example
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, one of my classmates at university is an African student and we often discuss
about
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apply
show examples
our different
customs
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.
This
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 brings us a lot of fun and I find the world is beautifully
various
Replace the word
varied
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 and
coulorful
Correct your spelling
colourful
.
Consequently
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, for the reasons above, I think that
countries
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 should welcome and
respect
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the
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apply
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cultural
differences
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 and we would find more beauty
of
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in
show examples
 the world.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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