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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie charts illustrates the number of sales in different spheres of online shopping in New Zealand during 10 years.

The pie charts illustrates the number of sales in different spheres of online shopping in New Zealand during 10 years.
Nowadays, online shopping has taken a large share
or
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of
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 marketing. The pie chart in the question
depict
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depicts
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 the online shopping status between the year of 2003 to 2013. Trave is the largest online trade till 2013 from 2003, in
comparision
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comparison
between
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to
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base
Correct article usage
the base
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 year, decreased
7
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by 7
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%. In 2003, 36%
travel
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of travel
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sell
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sales
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, at that time
it
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apply
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was higher than any other category.
Secound
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Second
 highest was clothes, 24%. Books and
flim
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film
/music
combindly
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combinedly
combined
 have taken 40%
space
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of space
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 in the chat,
repectively
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respectively
 19% and 21%. In the year
of
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apply
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2013, the biggest percentage of
sell
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sales
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 was film/music which
is
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apply
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increased in relation to
initial
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the initial
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 session, it saturated at 33%, one
thired
Correct your spelling
third
 of the total
sell
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sales
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.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
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 largest
sell
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sale
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 was travel, which is 29%. And the
sell
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sales
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 of books and
cloths
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clothes
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 are respectively 22% and 16%.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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