The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart demonstrates the average changes of
people
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
born in
Australia
and who were born abroad
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australia
in different areas,
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
,
rural
Correct word choice
and rural
show examples
between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
the highest
birth
average
number
outside and inside
Australia
in 1995 was in rural areas.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
number
of
birth
in rural declined in 2010 to
people
who are abroad or inside
Australia
. In 1995 the
number
of
birth
in cities inside
Australia
and outside
Australia
was 55% and 60% respectively.
While
the
number
of
people
who were born abroad in town
50
Add a missing verb
was 50
show examples
% the
number
of
people
Australian, (from 20 % to 10%), the proportion
number
of
birth
in cities outside
Australia
was higher around 25%. In 2010 the
number
of
people
who were born in rural and town region
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
around 15% but it made
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
to be around 5% less in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
area than
towns
Change preposition
in towns
show examples
. Both years 1995 and 2010 scored around 20% higher in the
birth
of cities outside
Australia
than inside.
Submitted by solimanfarag777 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, birth, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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