IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic. The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #phone #places
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In the contemporary era, there is ongoing debate about whether mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be restricted in several
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
as well as
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 smoking regarding its implications.
This
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 essay argues that
people
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 have a choice to
use
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 their
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 wherever.
In addition
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,
Use synonyms
phone
Add an article
the phone
show examples
 has several modern features that
people
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 needed in daily life. Despite the fact that mobile
phone
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 several negative
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
 associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 antisocial in society, some
people
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 believe that mobile
phone
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 should not be forbidden in certain places since it has a lot of benefit in
this
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 modern era.
People
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 can
use
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Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 for several
activities
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 like marketing, communication, and entertainment.
For example
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, the influencer will
works
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work
show examples
 using their
phone
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 24/7 to make
a
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apply
show examples
money, offering
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
 impact of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online technology.
In
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On
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 the other hand,
people
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 may believe that
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should not be used
in particular
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activities
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,
such
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 as dinner or family
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
.
This
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 is not only because mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can
distracting
Wrong verb form
distract
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mind
Correct article usage
the mind
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while
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 talking but
also
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due to
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 the fact that it is
Correct article usage
an unetchical
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unetchical
Correct your spelling
unethical
 attitude when ignoring
people
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.
For example
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,
According to
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british
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British
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 culture, online technology is
fobidden
Correct your spelling
forbidden
 during afternoon tea, resulting
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in a
show examples
a
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an
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 intense connection
each
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with each
show examples
 other.
This
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 is why the prevention of
this
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disrespect
Replace the word
disrespectful
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 manner
such
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 as banning the
use
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 of mobile
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should
be consider
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be considered
show examples
 to create
warmer
Add an article
a warmer
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 atmosphere and
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 the moment. In conclusion,
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phone
Add an article
the phone
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vital thing that could not escape. The purpose of banning
phone
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activities
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 in certain
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 will make
people
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 uncomfortable since it will stop their regular
activities
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 .
However
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, I recommend
to
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apply
show examples
actively
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
people
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 associated
to
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with
show examples
disrepect
Correct your spelling
disrespect
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
 of online
activities
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while
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 gathering. Using
this
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 anticipation, the
use
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 of
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 is not the thing that should not be
worry
Wrong verb form
worried
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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