Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

In recent times, males and females get used to giving away a huge amount of income to cosmetics products which never happened in the past.
This
essay will discuss the main reason for
this
behaviour and how it could affect in the future.
Firstly
, a lot of people are considerably sure that good looking is a vital instrument to securing a good job. Indeed, in
according to
research shows that appearance is a key point for hiring jobs for 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of employers, as employees are the face of the firm, especially in international companies. A great deal of attention is paid to the appearance of professions
such
as flight attendants, human resources managers, secretaries, and other professions in different fields.
Moreover
, we have been believing that being more attractive leads to achieving success in careers.
Therefore
, humanity prefers to waste a lot of time searching in the cosmetics aisle and
also
spend money on beauty care products. Taking care of yourself is a very healthy thing as long as it doesn’t go overboard. Society is really a risk of losing its natural appearance. Everyone has been trying to keep their youth and look younger.
That is
why, there are a huge amount resources of for staying youth
such
as surveys, beauty treatment, beauty
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, spa salons, and others, where people give away 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of their income. Unfortunately, some of us might lose control and it can become a mental illness. To summarize, I would like to highlight that presentation could affect on person’s confidence,
for
this
reason, it is a really good idea to use some cosmetics products.
However
, we should remember that everything has a border and
also
each of us is beautiful in our own way.
Submitted by nurgaliyevaasselya on

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task response
Address the prompt by discussing both reasons and results of the behavior. Provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion is abrupt. Additionally, some ideas are presented in a disjointed manner. Try to use linking words and organize your ideas more effectively.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Proliferation
  • 2. Adhere to
  • 3. Celebrities and influencers
  • 4. Discretionary spending
  • 5. Self-esteem
  • 6. Attractiveness
  • 7. Technological advancements
  • 8. High-quality products and services
  • 9. Health consciousness
  • 10. Holistic wellness
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