Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other rewards that a job can offer. What do you think the main considerations when deciding what job to take should be? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #world #work #gain #rewards #job #offer #considerations

this

competitive world to live, most of the people have to earn it by working. But, working particularly only

financial

Change preposition

for financial

show examples

gain is not what some of my relatives concern about. What

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

their considerations are other rewards that a

job

can offer. The two significant

things

to be considered are provided facilities and the personal

satisfactories

Correct your spelling

satisfactory

which will

be discuss

Change the verb form

be discussed

show examples

further

this

essay.

To begin

with,

rewarded

Add a missing verb

being rewarded

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

better facilities is a fundamental

things

Change the noun form

thing

show examples

in taking a

job

for

this

brotherhood. They tend to consider more about what a company can offer before

decide

Change the form of the verb

deciding

show examples

work

. Insurance is one of the crucial

things

for them as they will not be worried

Change preposition

about

show examples

their own health once they

work

Furthermore

, having the family care covered by the

coorporation

Correct your spelling

corporation

is another vital

things

Replace the adjective

thing

show examples

to be concerned

before

Change preposition

about before

show examples

deciding by

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

relatives to

work

there.

In addition

, personal satisfaction

another

Add a missing verb

is another

show examples

consideration for taking a

job

for

this

family as they will overly think about their

convinience

Correct your spelling

convenience

in working. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

situation is what they will face once they are accepted to

work

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

flexible regulation like free

uniform

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

will encourage them to

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

the

job

as they will freely express their personal

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

as well as

their

comfortness

Correct your spelling

comfort ness

for

Change preposition

show examples

their working outfit.

Moreover

, the working environment

also

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

another concern

such

having

Change preposition

as having

show examples

a supportive working partner and supervisor or even their leader will affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their happiness to do the

job

. In conclusion, to face

this

difficult world,

work

for earning a living is what most people do.

However

, taking a

job

should be considered by provided facilities offered and the personal

satisfactories

Correct your spelling

satisfactory

for the

mention

Replace the word

mentioned

show examples

brotherhood.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Tue Aug 22 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people To what extent do you agree or disagree? .

Many young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities leaving behind an elderly population. What are the problems associated with this? What can be done about it?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?