Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other rewards that a job can offer. What do you think the main considerations when deciding what job to take should be? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
Linking Words
competitive world to live, most of the people have to earn it by working. But, working particularly only
financial
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for financial
show examples
gain is not what some of my relatives concern about. What
become
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becomes
show examples
their considerations are other rewards that a
job
Use synonyms
can offer. The two significant
things
Use synonyms
to be considered are provided facilities and the personal
satisfactories
Correct your spelling
satisfactory
which will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed
show examples
further
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in
this
Linking Words
essay.
To begin
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with,
rewarded
Add a missing verb
being rewarded
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
better facilities is a fundamental
Use synonyms
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
in taking a
job
Use synonyms
for
this
Linking Words
brotherhood. They tend to consider more about what a company can offer before
decide
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deciding
show examples
to
work
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. Insurance is one of the crucial
things
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for them as they will not be worried
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
their own health once they
work
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.
Furthermore
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, having the family care covered by the
coorporation
Correct your spelling
corporation
is another vital
Use synonyms
things
Replace the adjective
thing
show examples
to be concerned
before
Change preposition
about before
show examples
deciding by
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
relatives to
work
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there.
In addition
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, personal satisfaction
another
Add a missing verb
is another
show examples
consideration for taking a
job
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for
this
Linking Words
family as they will overly think about their
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
in working. Because
,
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation is what they will face once they are accepted to
work
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.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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flexible regulation like free
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
will encourage them to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
the
job
Use synonyms
as they will freely express their personal
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
as well as
Linking Words
their
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort ness
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their working outfit.
Moreover
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, the working environment
also
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become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
another concern
such
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having
Change preposition
as having
show examples
a supportive working partner and supervisor or even their leader will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their happiness to do the
job
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. In conclusion, to face
this
Linking Words
difficult world,
work
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for earning a living is what most people do.
However
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, taking a
job
Use synonyms
should be considered by provided facilities offered and the personal
satisfactories
Correct your spelling
satisfactory
for the
mention
Replace the word
mentioned
show examples
brotherhood.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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