IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
#employees #factories #england #wales
The table represents information about
number
Add an article
the number
a number
show examples
 of workers and
factories
 in England and Wales over
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
5 decades, from 1851 to 1901.
Overall
, it can be seen
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
factories
,
while
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
number
 of
employees
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 dropped throughout the whole period.
Moreover
, the gap between
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of male and female
employees
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
marginally
Change the word
marginal
show examples
. The
number
 of total
employees
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 declined significantly, from 477100 in 1851 to 61000 in 1901.
In addition
, over a decade from 1861 to 1871
factories
 lost more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the workers.
Factories
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
, meanwhile, showed a big boom, raising to just under
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three times of initial data(from 225 to 600).
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of the period,
discrepancy
Add an article
the discrepancy
a discrepancy
show examples
 between male and female workers was approximately 100000 people, declining over the period to reach 1000 individuals in 1901. Another interesting point is that in 1861 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 more female
employees
 than male, 160000 and 131780 respectively.
Submitted by sagynysh.mutigulliyeva.01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, factories, employees with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: